Which one of you was it that broke into my house and beat me up whilst I slept? That has to be what happened as I have woken up in so much pain this morning! I am aching from head to toe, have pain in my back and my legs, my stomach is swollen so much I look like I'm about to give birth - oh and whoever it was, I really didn't need the boob job!
What happened to me overnight? I don't think that I'm presenting a range of symptoms that can be analysed by NHS Direct, or via an internet health self check service. I guess I will have to label it as stress related or hormonal (as usual), but good grief I am uncomfortable.
I'm wondering whether I've picked up something from the dog perhaps? He was ill last night and vomited what looked like a bowl of chilli con carne onto the living room carpet before I could get him outside, where he did it again. I could he the noises that his stomach was making as I laid in bed - with my door closed and the hound in the hall! But he seems nice and perky again this morning so whatever it was he must have purged it from his system, maybe that's what I need to do - a very unappealing thought.
I really don't feel up to taking him for his hour long trek this morning, its cold, its raining and I feel like poo. Not that he'll understand that of course, he just knows that morning brings with it a walk and his breakfast, which after what he expelled last night I'm sure he will demolish as soon as he gets it.
There's only one thing for it - another cup of tea, along with a couple of pain killers it might just help me to kick-start my system and get me going. Say what you like about us Brits, no matter how bad we feel or how bad our situation we know that a good cup of tea can help make things better.
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